Saturday, December 27, 2008

The age of inflation

I know that we've all seen them. They tend to pop up every holiday season and often stick around until next year. Sometimes prone to accidental stabbings and always a sign of developing taste. That's right. Inflatable lawn ornaments. The quintessential decoration for people who can't be bothered to actually put some effort into the appearance of their property. Just unwrap, throw onto the splotchy part of your lawn, plug-in and enjoy for 30 seconds until you get bored and go back inside to eat Doritos and play your xbox 360.

Today my sister and I were driving home from a jog when she told me to stop the car and drive back, there was something she wanted me to see.

That's right. Ladies and gentlemen, on your left you will see an inflatable Carousel. Not just inflatable, but also rotating. Pretty soon inflatable lawn ornaments will be totally interactive; you'll be able to jump and swing and wrestle and kick and slide in your own front lawn, just like in those inflatable obstacle courses that you used to go through on high-school graduation night! But that's not all, now your Christmas can be made complete with something that I find mildly less offensive.

For those of you that don't know, someone got really creative and decided to take the leg lamp of Bob Clark's own Christmas Story and turn it into a decorative icon to adorn the lawns of old school enthusiasts. I can respect that, but the moment someone decides to take this too far and apply it to something sacrosanct like church or breakfast, well that's the moment I'm gonna lose it.

Maybe I'm wrong though. I mean with the trendy spread of global warming and shortage of snow, perhaps this is just what the doctor ordered because we can no longer make snowmen. Long gone are the days when all we needed to be considered innovative was furniture that could be crafted with the use of your mouth. Granted, there's far morn innapropriate things out there that can be inflated with your own exhalation, but I wonder what will happen next? Grass/Dirt men? Lawn-legos? Only time will tell.