Friday, January 30, 2009

iPray

Lord I ask you for serenity and patience. I throw my hands up while the things that frustrate me the most find ways to resurface in my life. Only through you am I able to regain myself and smile to think that these things shall too pass. At the same time my loved ones suffer and only through you can they have peace. I ask that you gather them in your hands and bring them into your heart, for while the earth might quake you will always find them firm ground to stand upon. Even so there are still many more that I have yet to know. Give me your arms and eyes that I might love them as my own, for it is through your passion that I will find purpose.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Disparity of Attitude

I've heard quite a few stories that wring my heart in the past two weeks while traveling hither and far. Here's just a couple.

-A man and a woman living in Florida cannot reproduce together, so they take up foster care. In Florida you must have a child for one full year before the child can become available for adoption. For this couple, a total of 7 children were cycled through their home each at the 10 month mark - making it impossible for them to obtain custody of those whom they took care of. While assuming this position as babysitter for the orphaned, they were also given a number of charges which have left them in debt in lieu of having children.

-A couple that has been running the beer concessions for a certain festival-based organization over the past 22 years was brought into light at a recent meeting where their profits were severely undervalued. Long story short, where $12,000 was expected only $3,000 turned up. In tow with their apparent lack of financial responsibility, their presence is no longer welcomed due to their inconsistent behavior with the rest of the group leaders.

I am really uncomfortable with how most of the problems that I hear about today come from money. Relationships aren't only stopped from being fostered but also torn apart because one person's 'financial character' is not up to par with the expectations of someone else. A tool for services rendered becomes the soul behind our motivations, limitations, and aspirations. And who do we blame for this?

Anyone but ourselves.

I can't speak for everyone because I know that there are a lot of people out there who have it together. They know how to save, how to spend, how to be frivolous and cautious without even wincing; but even so I'm learning.

You've done this before too. Probably with Mom and Dad, you know, they tell you something again and again and then one day it finally clicks. What clicked for me is attitude. As in the way that you feel about something really messes up the picture of what the thing really is! If you look at the world in terms of money being a person-defining feature, you lose the same kind of love for the sales person that you would lose for your neighbor if you were not color blind.

I hope that everyone already knows that people are more than price tags and that there is nothing that stops you from new love today. And for those that you come across who are heavy burdened, please be discerning and help me to change the way the world sees money.

I'll end this with the way I should have gone through Saturday night:
Around 10:30 at IHOP things were getting crazy in the kitchen. The new shift had just come on and things were backing up with confused orders. While sitting down at a table with Sean we overheard a couple with a baby talking about how they had just received their first plate of food after waiting 50 minutes. They caught the attention of their waitress and demanded to speak to the manager. After a brief conversation explaining the molasses in the kitchen, the couple calmed down and resumed their meal. Not 2 minutes later our waitress came out with our pancakes. The lady made a comment about how we must have paid off the kitchen to get our food out so fast. While Sean and I finished up our meal the family finished their meal and headed out the door. I followed them. Out in the parking lot I tapped the husband on the shoulder and handed him a $20. After he asked what it was for I responded that the two of them did a great job handling themselves back in there; they had a baby, it was late, things were going unreasonably slow for such a late hour, but they still walked out of the restaurant without making a fuss. Good job, keep it up, watch out for others".

Pass on what you have in hopes of reinforcing love for others and patience for all things. Your tools make way for your work.

Furthermore, thank you Melissa. It is a great feeling to know that I have someone supporting my qualms about the field. You make the mission that much easier for me to walk into.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Road Trip! Chapter 5: In the footsteps of the Wright Brothers

...so while playing NBA Hangtime with Dave I got to thinking about how awesome it is to fly half-way across the court and do a slam dunk in the face of the computer controlled, and inferior, players. And that got me to thinking about flying...which led me to think about hummingbirds which eat that red nectar stuff which I think is sugar water, and hey sugar water is sweet, oh my gosh have you ever had that cinnibun-popcorn? I think it's made by Orville Redenbacher. Hey Orville that's a fun name, wait wasn't there a guy who invented the airplane named Orville? Yeah he had a brother too...holy crap they're from Ohio! Kristen lives in Ohio! Let's go there!

Sadly Dave was not able to accompany me, so after we beat 21 of the 29 NBA teams I brought myself to a standing position and gumby-slided my way out the door. 4 hours later I was on the doorstep of Kristen's house being smothered by affection. Not even a day passed until, all of a sudden, we were snowed in. The roads were thickly frosted, cars peeled out through all of the neighborhood, and children cried for their parents to let them go back to school (where it's warm). But did all of that keep Kristen and I indoors?

Heck no! We had ourselves a snowday!

Snow angels, cookies, Dances With Wolves, paraffin-appendage-waxing, you name it! Everything was wonderful because everything was done with my best friend.











I don't know too many people that are dedicated to having a balanced breakfast, but Kristen is by far at the top of that list. Every morning she would wake up and bust herself down to the kitchen in order to carb up for the day. I've never been in a home where the smell of food wakes you up, but being around Kristen at 8:00 in the morning really does show me what I've missed out on during my childhood. Man she's awesome.

Road Trip! Chapter 4: Hang 'em while there's time

After running into Jon, Jay, and John, I took a brief detour to Harrisburg. Meanwhile Jon continued killing zombies, Jay made his way back to North Carolina to finish up his theology master's, and John continued his quest to solve the problem of Barbara Walters.

In Harrisburg I ran into the guys. Here is the only proof of said visit for all purposes associated with having an alibi. Thanks for being there Matt and Brian.


...and also special thanks to both of you for ruining the photo.


After a brief return to Maryland I then traveled north to see my eldest prodigy as fathered with Matt Scoggan. In the recesses of Pittsburgh there lives a grand wizard by the name of David Young.



David was fortunate enough to have the weekend off so he invited my visit with open arms. The one thing I admire profusely about David is, in a very abridged version, how he seeks to remove himself from dependency. While breaking social norms and seeking to rise above conformity David chooses to take an anarchist approach to life with the well-being of others as his premier motivation. He does not engage in actions that might bring unhealthy results for himself nor does he do things that might indirectly result in harm to others.

As a result Dave and I did a lot of cooking.

Here are some of the Wonton wraps that took me 2 days to figure out; David mastered them in an hour.




As the hours seemingly flew by as a crow to the exterior engine of a 747, Dave and I never seemed to run out of things to do. From watching Hollywood classics such as The Mist and Planet Earth to freezing our bums off in the snow and even losing our lives to NBA Hangtime.



It is a biblical fact that NBA Hangtime was made by the hand of Jesus himself, however this was not included in our modern day canon of scripture.


You know how, sometimes, goodbyes can be awkward? Like going in to give a hug to an uncle who, afterwords, shoots you the gun and says "take care, you". I don't ever have that problem with Dave - it's like coming in contact with a long lost friend who you know wants to have you around and also hates that you have to go. The thing is..Dave has that sensation on everyone that knows him.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Road Trip! Chapter 3: MANifest

So now I'm heading into Norristown, Pennsylvania. An area known for two things: prostitution and gas welding. Now if you take those two things and rearrange the letters you'll discover the secret of Norristown. Because I love you, dear Reader, I'll tell you that the answer is "Jon Garthwaite", and that's exactly whom I went to see. Old Garthybags, as I used to call him, was one of my roommates in college. He was also like an older brother to me not because he dressed up like spiderman and beat the crap out of me in public, but because he convinced me to dress up like a ninja while he did it. While I was teaching English in Korea I was unable to attend important celebrations for Jon such as his barmitzvah and wedding, but still he finds some good in me to continue loving me as a little brother and for that I am continuously grateful.

Nowadays he lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, unfortunately whom was off preparing for the wedding of another dear friend. In his home were two other homeless people whom I will simply refer to in discretion; "The Vaitl" and "Jazzle McMuffins".

Together all three of us prepared for a glorious feast as made by our host and source of hospitality. After a meal of steak, macaroni, vegtables, and mashed potatoes, we continued to demonstrate our masculine appeal to eachother by scratching our chests and grunting out the beats to a number of manthems as heard on Rock Band: Manpanion Edition.



Not being satisfied with the level of mantasity happening, I then accepted a challenge from Jon to drink 32 ounces of salt water for the nominal fee of seven dollars.



I would later use those seven dollars to rent a video game from blockbuster called Left 4 Dead. Upon realization that Blockbuster is silly enough to only carry one copy of the zombie killing block...buster, I settled for less and found a terribly slower game called Fear. But that's a story for another time.

As the night continued we giggled and farted down memory lane, but while we would want to relive some of those experiences I think we're happy with where we're going. I just hope that we keep intersecting along the way.



THINGS I LEARNED..
-Pink eye comes from fecal matter
-You can't do a salt water flush after eating a lot of food, it just sits in your stomach and hurts
-Some door locks are made like tavern puzzles

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Road Trip! Chapter 2: Don't sleep 'til..

So after cutting up a deer, Abbie and I decided to hit the road for New York. We did the entire trip in a straight 7 hours. As we entered Brooklyn we came across Abbie's new flat mate and hung out for about 2 hours. The great thing about meeting new people is that you gain new experiences while sharing your own perspectives. Afterwards we traveled to a dear friend of Abbie's and slept for the night. For myself, I was excited to get in and then get out of New York. After ordering THE BRKLYN pizza from Dominos and then enjoying authentic Venezuelan food the following morning, I decided that it's a terrible idea to gain 4 pounds over 21 hours. So after bidding adieu to Abbie I took my leave and headed towards Norristown, NJ. In the process I forgot to get a ticket on the New Jersey turnpike...so in the end I payed the full freight for the trip. Sweet sauce.


It's like hang man for grown-ups.




TD bank! Mine!




So, Abbie's friend's home was located in a building with it's own fallout shelter. How fantastic is that!?


Abbie takes it upon her kind heart to order our very own New York style pizza.




^^^Try and pronounce this one^^^
:)




All in all, a wonderful trip. I think Abbie's really brave for sticking it out in New York and I know she'll do great :)


Things I learned on this part of the trip:
-It's a good idea to learn Spanish before you go, the guying leaving a parking spot open might be telling you anything from "park here or you'll get a ticket," to "take my spot and I'll kill you"
-Toll booth attendants can be incredibly forgiving (and apparently they also make $30 per hour)
-Buying $10 of gas with a $100 dollar bill is a pretty stupid thing to do when you aren't allowed to pump your own gas, and the person with the pump will be sure to let you know

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Road Trip! Chapter 1, The Meating

So today I began the epic haul from Southern Maryland to New York, Pennsylvania, and back. To start off with I drove from St. Mary's county to the pan handle of Western Maryland. I know that the description doesn't help anyone, so here's a quick sketch of what the drive was like:









Wait...what's that?




Oh Maryland, you name your cities so well.

Anyway, here's where the adventure begins. I arrive at the home of my friend Abigail Getty in an effort to help her move to New York. As the story goes she won't be having a car, so I opt to give her a hand. So, after about 5 hours of driving from damp and cold land to snowy and cold land I arrived in the shady woods of her home. Calm and serene as it seems, I had no idea what was about to happen. Here you can see my car from the next morning.

As luck would have it, I actually did not kill anyone and run them over with my car. Rather, as I arrived the previous night I was introduced to the skinned body of a recently deceased deer that we'll call Irva for the time being. Irva had been hunted down not one hour before my arrival by Abbie's dad, Abe Getty. When I walked up to her house I felt an eerie sensation of fresh death, and it was both unsettling and fascinating to behold.


So I start talking with Abbie's dad and soon enough, my vegetarianism comes up in conversation.

Abe: "So Trevor, do you like deer meat?"
Trevor: "Uhh, well actually I'm a vegetarian."
Abe: "Ah, a vegetarian! I love vegetarians! They're the only thing I eat!"


Hunter humor mixed with cannibalism is always a winning combination in my book. He charmed me over instantly.

As the evening progressed I was eventually invited to help butcher the deer the following morning to which I did everything I could to hold back my excitement and said yes. So at 7:00a.m. we set out to the garage with knife in hand, ready to sever some flesh.

Here we see Mr. Getty going to town on that little 'ol deer. In the process I had no idea what he was doing and if it were up to me and my own devices at the time I probably would have started cutting myself up. Fortunately, he was a ready and willing teacher. Mr. Getty had an unearthly amount of patience as we went to work on that meat sack, and what's more is that he affirmed me with every step. Albeit for me to say that I'm a vegetarian there is one event that might leave some to say otherwise.








Mini-chapter bonus, lucky you!

The story of the Backstraps


Around 10:00a.m., Abbie's father and I head back out to the garage after grinding up some choice cuts of shoulder meat. As I'm walking out with a Tupperware bucket in hand, Mr. Getty starts giggling to himself and begins to talk about the mythical and awe inspiring backstraps of a deer. He begins to grin a little bit and then, while cutting away at the spine he turns his head to me and says "you know if you weren't here, I'd probably be eating this stuff right off the bone."
***side note: A couple of days later when I was telling this story to Abbie, she told me that her dad was testing me. And then I passed.

So I said let's do this thing and before I knew it he stuck out his knife and offered a piece of raw flesh. Yumm.




As we continued through the day I learned a lot about Mr. Getty, aside from all of the lessons about hunting and butchering that he taught me he also showed me around his wooded property and told me about his life. Surprise to me, he's been hunting everywhere. After a missions trip to Africa, he decided to get a license and make his way back to the Kalahari desert where he tracked down all sorts of Seussically named animals. He's been buffalo hunting, bear hunting, zebra hunting and he's even taken down a cougar - which I might add he proudly has stuffed and mounted in his office. What's more, while Mr. Getty passionately hunts as a hobby he spends the professional portion of his life as a Dentist. Go figure right? Teamed with his wife, the two serve outstanding portions of savory venison to any guests that hap their way.

As the afternoon steadily approached us, Abbie and I decided to hit the road - heading to our ultimate destination of Brooklyn.

Things I learned from this part of the trip:
-The foreleg of a deer is not connected to the rest of it's body by any sort of bone, rather it is fastened solely by muscle.
-Everyone should know something about hunting/primitive skills, not only for survival, but also for the sake of being a real man! Abbie is already talking to her brother's about the establishment of a Man School in her backyard. Details of enrollment will be included on this blog when the details of how much it costs to start a university get figured out.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A merry sober and completely flamable new years day

For the past several New Years I've been exposed to a relatively new class of human being, the kind that takes part in rigorous attempts to increase their average blood alcohol content. I guess it's not so much a bad thing as I thought it was when I was a kid. But when I was in Korea I heard a preacher talking about the people in the bar districts of the city who said that they simply "don't quite get the picture yet". This year, somewhat surprisingly, I did not hang out with that crowd. I was with my best friend from childhood and a few new friends from the county. One of them has made a solid commitment to continue their life without a drink for the past two years. How cool is that? To take that huge step at self-improvement leave nothing but respect to be had. Together, we made our way to a little lake in the backwoods of southern Maryland. But we didn't go it alone.


Here we have a number of fireworks; all of them illegal in a number of states. Including bottle rockets...really I have no idea what is in that pile, but most of it made enough of a boom to shake up the neighborhood.

Here are a few interactive results from the morning. Interactive because they're videos! Also interactive because you can turn your computer on it's side to watch them in their prime.

Event #1, The Preliminary
This was the first mortar blast of the night, done by Sean. As you can see it is perfectly executed with no delay. It's SO good that it brings out my previously dormant Santa laugh.


In contrast, this was my struggle to light off the cannon.


Event #2, The Corn Crusades
Also with us there were a number of cans of corn. Sean and Ryan were talking about a fantastic new way to cook a can of corn that involves placing it in a piping hot barrel. If I brought my fork this would have been even more fantastic. Here were the drawn out results!


Event #3, The Time Lydia Almost Killed Everyone
It was Lydia's turn to launch a mortar, unfortunately she almost killed every single person at the lake in the process.


Event #4, The Grand Finale
And lastly, Ryan came upon us with a really really really old jug of gasoline; the kind that you don't want to put in your car in fear that it might corrode your gas tank.


All in all, it was one of the best New Year's ever! Completely legal, alcohol free, and with adult supervision!