Road Trip! Chapter 4: Hang 'em while there's time

After running into Jon, Jay, and John, I took a brief detour to Harrisburg. Meanwhile Jon continued killing zombies, Jay made his way back to North Carolina to finish up his theology master's, and John continued his quest to solve the problem of Barbara Walters.

In Harrisburg I ran into the guys. Here is the only proof of said visit for all purposes associated with having an alibi. Thanks for being there Matt and Brian.


...and also special thanks to both of you for ruining the photo.


After a brief return to Maryland I then traveled north to see my eldest prodigy as fathered with Matt Scoggan. In the recesses of Pittsburgh there lives a grand wizard by the name of David Young.



David was fortunate enough to have the weekend off so he invited my visit with open arms. The one thing I admire profusely about David is, in a very abridged version, how he seeks to remove himself from dependency. While breaking social norms and seeking to rise above conformity David chooses to take an anarchist approach to life with the well-being of others as his premier motivation. He does not engage in actions that might bring unhealthy results for himself nor does he do things that might indirectly result in harm to others.

As a result Dave and I did a lot of cooking.

Here are some of the Wonton wraps that took me 2 days to figure out; David mastered them in an hour.




As the hours seemingly flew by as a crow to the exterior engine of a 747, Dave and I never seemed to run out of things to do. From watching Hollywood classics such as The Mist and Planet Earth to freezing our bums off in the snow and even losing our lives to NBA Hangtime.



It is a biblical fact that NBA Hangtime was made by the hand of Jesus himself, however this was not included in our modern day canon of scripture.


You know how, sometimes, goodbyes can be awkward? Like going in to give a hug to an uncle who, afterwords, shoots you the gun and says "take care, you". I don't ever have that problem with Dave - it's like coming in contact with a long lost friend who you know wants to have you around and also hates that you have to go. The thing is..Dave has that sensation on everyone that knows him.

Road Trip! Chapter 3: MANifest

So now I'm heading into Norristown, Pennsylvania. An area known for two things: prostitution and gas welding. Now if you take those two things and rearrange the letters you'll discover the secret of Norristown. Because I love you, dear Reader, I'll tell you that the answer is "Jon Garthwaite", and that's exactly whom I went to see. Old Garthybags, as I used to call him, was one of my roommates in college. He was also like an older brother to me not because he dressed up like spiderman and beat the crap out of me in public, but because he convinced me to dress up like a ninja while he did it. While I was teaching English in Korea I was unable to attend important celebrations for Jon such as his barmitzvah and wedding, but still he finds some good in me to continue loving me as a little brother and for that I am continuously grateful.

Nowadays he lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, unfortunately whom was off preparing for the wedding of another dear friend. In his home were two other homeless people whom I will simply refer to in discretion; "The Vaitl" and "Jazzle McMuffins".

Together all three of us prepared for a glorious feast as made by our host and source of hospitality. After a meal of steak, macaroni, vegtables, and mashed potatoes, we continued to demonstrate our masculine appeal to eachother by scratching our chests and grunting out the beats to a number of manthems as heard on Rock Band: Manpanion Edition.



Not being satisfied with the level of mantasity happening, I then accepted a challenge from Jon to drink 32 ounces of salt water for the nominal fee of seven dollars.



I would later use those seven dollars to rent a video game from blockbuster called Left 4 Dead. Upon realization that Blockbuster is silly enough to only carry one copy of the zombie killing block...buster, I settled for less and found a terribly slower game called Fear. But that's a story for another time.

As the night continued we giggled and farted down memory lane, but while we would want to relive some of those experiences I think we're happy with where we're going. I just hope that we keep intersecting along the way.



THINGS I LEARNED..
-Pink eye comes from fecal matter
-You can't do a salt water flush after eating a lot of food, it just sits in your stomach and hurts
-Some door locks are made like tavern puzzles