Friday, January 16, 2009

Road Trip! Chapter 3: MANifest

So now I'm heading into Norristown, Pennsylvania. An area known for two things: prostitution and gas welding. Now if you take those two things and rearrange the letters you'll discover the secret of Norristown. Because I love you, dear Reader, I'll tell you that the answer is "Jon Garthwaite", and that's exactly whom I went to see. Old Garthybags, as I used to call him, was one of my roommates in college. He was also like an older brother to me not because he dressed up like spiderman and beat the crap out of me in public, but because he convinced me to dress up like a ninja while he did it. While I was teaching English in Korea I was unable to attend important celebrations for Jon such as his barmitzvah and wedding, but still he finds some good in me to continue loving me as a little brother and for that I am continuously grateful.

Nowadays he lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, unfortunately whom was off preparing for the wedding of another dear friend. In his home were two other homeless people whom I will simply refer to in discretion; "The Vaitl" and "Jazzle McMuffins".

Together all three of us prepared for a glorious feast as made by our host and source of hospitality. After a meal of steak, macaroni, vegtables, and mashed potatoes, we continued to demonstrate our masculine appeal to eachother by scratching our chests and grunting out the beats to a number of manthems as heard on Rock Band: Manpanion Edition.

Not being satisfied with the level of mantasity happening, I then accepted a challenge from Jon to drink 32 ounces of salt water for the nominal fee of seven dollars.

I would later use those seven dollars to rent a video game from blockbuster called Left 4 Dead. Upon realization that Blockbuster is silly enough to only carry one copy of the zombie killing block...buster, I settled for less and found a terribly slower game called Fear. But that's a story for another time.

As the night continued we giggled and farted down memory lane, but while we would want to relive some of those experiences I think we're happy with where we're going. I just hope that we keep intersecting along the way.

-Pink eye comes from fecal matter
-You can't do a salt water flush after eating a lot of food, it just sits in your stomach and hurts
-Some door locks are made like tavern puzzles