Monday, October 2, 2006

B.K. Good morning October, I was lost in the woods last week.

Here marks the beginning of the 3rd month in my adventure in another world. Right now I am sitting in a 3rd story computer lab on campus, listening to the delightful chords of a flute from across the great wall that divides this campus from the rest of Ecuador that is playing one of those wonderful sort of classical ¨good morning to the world¨sort of things that were composed by Johann Sebastian Bach or maybe even Bethoveen.

But it wasn´t always this way.
Last week at this time, I was waking up from one of the more tumultuous experiences I´ve yet to have in a foreign country...and let me tell you, there´ve been about 3 of them. But this one, was by far the most entertainingly scary.

It all started last Saturday, when Kristen said to me...

Kristen - "Hey Trevor! Hannah just invited us to go to BANOS, where they have all sorts of fun sporty things!"
Trevor - "Let's roll!"
(2 hours later)
Kristen - "Hey Hannah, we're ready, let's go!"
Trevor - "Hey who are those guys¿"
Hannah - "ECUADORIANS! Here's David, Ephraim, Jonaton, and my german roommate Julianne.
All - "Hi!"
Hannah - "okletsgonow!"
(5 hours later)
All - "Yay Banos!"
Julianne - "Hey guys tomorrow lets get bikes for the day so that we can go and see the waterfalls w/o taxis!"
David - "So sweet!"
((Sunday Afternoon))
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "Ok, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $5 for each bike"
Trevor - "Hey why do I have to pay an extra dollar for my bicycle!?!
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "Because it is special and blue!"
Ephraim - "LOL!"
(A few minutes later after our heros have been flying downhill through the city, dodging cars and children)
Hannah - "Oh my gosh nature is SO pretty!"
Jonaton - "Guys I think this is the way we need to go in order to get to the waterfalls, up this ominous path"
Kristen - "Sweet lets go!"
Jonaton - "And then before the waterfall there should be a bridge that we can go BUNGEE JUMPING off of!"
Hannah - "How much does it cost?
Trevor - "Yay!"
(30 minutes later while getting on and off their bikes to go over mud and rocks on a steadily rising course...)
Julianne - "Oh wow I am SOOO happy that I wore sandals today"
Ephraim - "I kno!"
Jonaton - "Careful guys, the path gets pretty narrow up here, you might want to get off your bikes."
(Moments later)
David - "OMG"
Jonaton - "OMG"
Ephraim - "OMG"
Trevor - "OMG"
Hannah - "Let me take a picture!"
Julianne - "OW OW OW OW blood and adrenaline and lots of jagged pointy rocks"
David - "I don´t like them either!!"
Trevor - "Wow that was a close one"
Jonaton - "Ok giez lets go!"
Kristen - "Look out it´s a cow!"
Hannah - "Where did that come from?"
David - "I don´t know, poke it with this stick to get it out of our way!"
Kristen - "ahh it´s pooping!"
Jonaton - "HAHAHA!"
(After another 2.5 hours, our heros stumble across a little hut inhabited by a little man and woman)
Hermit man who lives in the mountains - "Oh my gosh guys, you must be stupids to have bikes up here"
Trevor - "I kno!"
Jonaton - "Hey do you know where we can find a bridge around here"
Hermit man who lives in the mountains - "Sure dudes! Just keep following this path for another hour, it's there!"
Trevor - "Thanks dude!"
Hermit man who lives in the mountains - "Totally!"
(One hour later)
Ephraim - "OMG where are wee?"
Julianne - "In a cow pasture of course"
Hannah - "H4rH4rH4r!"
Cow - "H4rH4Rhr$4!!!¨!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jonaton - "Ok guys, we´re running out of day light, I say we keep going in this direction because that man said..."
Kristen - "Let´s go!"
(A few minutes later, while traveling on a narrow and barely lit path)
Jonaton - "Ok guys, there´s no way that we´re going to get back to civilization on this narrow and dimly lit path..."
Trevor - "...while only having a single cellphone flashlight"
Jonaton - "So you guys stay here and we'll go find food, water, and know, things we don´t have!"
David - "OK!"
(Moments later, Jonaton and Trevor abandon the rest of the group to go find necessities)
Trevor - "Watch out a donkey!"
Jonaton - "I´ll hit it with this stick!" "Hahaha! That showed it!"
Trevor - "UGH I HATE MUD!"
Kristen - "UGH I HATE COLD!"
Hannah - "It's ok guys I brought this blanket made with space age technology"
Julianne - "Will it feed us?"
Hannah - "No, but it WILL keep us warm...or me warm, provided that Im in the middle because it´s mine"
David - "Dude, 15 lb bikes in the mountain are not cool)
Ephraim - "I kno!"
(Meanwhile...1.5 hours later)
Trevor - "Yay, we found the bridge across the river that separates us from civilization and edible things!"
Jonaton - "I´ll call the red cross for help!¨"
Red Cross - "Hello red cross, how can we save you again?"
Jonaton - "Hi we´re tourists that are stuck in the mountains of banos and we need help to get out of here"
Red Cross - "..."
Jonaton - "Hello? Hello? son of a gun..."
(Minutes later after Jonaton calls back to prove that he wasn´t making a prank call after all)
Red Cross - "Ok, just checking, we´ll be there in 10 minutes"
(40 minutes later after Jonaton and Trevor have climbed a mountain to reach the main road and a small town)
Red Cross - "OK we´re here, all 14 of us, now let´s go find the rest of you!"
Jonaton - "What?"
Red Cross - "That´s right, you expect us to find these people by ourselves?"
Trevor - "mmmmm...."
Julianne - "Hahaha! I don´t have any tampons!"
Hannah - "LOL!"
Kristen - "OMG LOL!"
David - "...what?"
Ephraim - "HAHAHA!"
(1.5 hours later)
Kristen - "we are save'ed!"
Red Cross - "Ok guys, lets go!"
(45 minutes later)
Red Cross - "OK, lets leave the bikes right here"
Jonaton - "But they aren´t ours"
Red Cross - "That´s ok."
David - "...but we rented them and have to take them back to the owner"
Red Cross - "That´s true"
Jonaton - "And we can´t just go back and expect them to let us stay another night without them!"
Red Cross "okletsgonow"
(1.5 hours later)
Kristen - "Yeah we´re back in BANOS!"
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "WHERE ARE MY BIKES!?!"
Ephraim - "We left them in the forest on the mountain where we were, the red cross told us to."
Red Cross - "Yessum."
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "Oh ok."
Hannah - "Can we have a room for the night?"
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "Sure thing."
Hannah - "Can we also have a discount?"
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "OH MY GOSH ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS!?"
Hannah - "I uh..."
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "LOL got ´cha! Sure, you can each have a discount :)!"
(The next morning around 8.25 a.m.)
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "YOU HAVE 3 HOURS TO GET MY BIKES, GO NOWW!!!"
David - "It´s 8 a.m.!"
Jonaton - "We went to bed at liek 4!!!"
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "Oh ok, you guys can sleep in about 1?"
Jonaton - "Gee thanks dude!"
Owner of Hostel who Rents out Bikes too - "No problem!"
(And then around 1 o clock, our two ecuadorian hero liek men went off to move all 7 bikes from the woods to civilization through the use of a cable car that just so happened to be located nearby the bikes.)

In this, I salute the Red Cross of Ecuador and kick every mosquito in the mouth. I am so happy that Malaria is not a real disease.