B.K. South Korea

I'm still waiting my first paycheck for the past two months of living abroad. It will be arriving on January 10th. Until then the entire fleet of new recruits at Chung Dahm Institute will be sucking the marrow out of chicken bones to get by. And you know what, it really isn't that bad.

I'd say the worst thing about the past month and a half has been trying to figure out what is a suitable investment, especially when it comes to hanging out with the rest of the staff after work. If it were up to me I think that I wouldn't spend a dime on anything social wise - that's another reason why I'm thankful for Kristen, she pushes me to not become a recluse that hoards his money.

The kids that I work with are great. Every day I have at least 2 new classes of students that complain to me about school as much as I did to my own teachers. "Teacher, let's take a break," "teacher, no more homework," "teacher, CDI is the devil." In the end we almost always get along though, and there are those times when a surge of energy just sweeps the classroom beyond a simple 'oh great, everyone is paying attention for once,' it's that feeling that they're actually learning how to do something. I remember how my physics teacher in high school, Mr. Skinner used to smile all the time; this smug little look that was like he always had a secret to tell, and with that secret he always fueled his classes with this unworldly energy that us kids couldn't help but gobble up. He used to teach us all about how to make calculations about things that I have never used again in my life as a non-engineering undergraduate, but I still remember him as one of the best teachers in my life.

B.K Randi

Lost the use of his right arm 20 years ago in a textile mill accident, his tennis scholarships for college, and still gained his arm back through physical therapy. He was compensated with $2000 for the incident.

Lost the lives of both of his children 20 years ago for reasons that he will not disclose to me beyond the fact that it was not his fault.
Has been divorced for 18 years.
Works at Flo's.
Is the happiest man I have met in my entire life.
Is enough reason for me to remember that making money is still not the most important thing in the world, but for some reason I can't help but feel bad for not being a provider even when I don't have a family.

Money does make the world go 'round. But it does not make it a happy place.

What a vicious conundrum.

B.K. My own worst enemy

My day in short:

-My coworker and I re-established a friendship that was previously lost through non-verbal acts of service today, the tension between him and I revolved around me being in the weeds and discourteous last week.
-I continued to struggle with the desire to have more money when I know I don't need it.
-I figured out what it means to be personally injured by someone else.

My day in detail:
So work today was awful slow. I don't mean to hyperbolize here but I could have painted a 13 room house in my spare time, especially the last two hours of it when I was used to perform community service in side work. This was even more frustrating in lieu of the fact that last week was the restaraunts outright busiest week of the summer, not just at Flo's but apparently every restaraunt in Murrell's Inlet...a downer because of all of the business lost due to circumstance. But lets look at some positive things from the course of the previous six hours. For starters, a coworker of mine named Jay and I had previously come upon bad terms with eachother when I had rubbed him the wrong way last Sunday while I was in the weeds for an hour and a half; at the end of the night he made sure to constructively criticize my demeanor and it left me feeling anxious to come back to work. Tonight though he was more than willing to lend me a helping hand with carrying food to my tables and suffering in the plight of vaccuming with me. He really is a great guy and has a good heart, he just doesn't want people to do stupid things - which is exactly what I did a week ago :)

As for what remained of the night, I made a solid $60, which for some people reading this factors out to a very solid income for just 6 hours of work. I myself look at the hourly ratio and know that it still proves to be the greatest income I have ever had. However, today I found myself putting a price on my tables, looking at the customers and saying to myself "ah crap, they're only going to tip me 10%," and I also noticed myself being jealous of other waiters who were getting the really big tables and then I recall myself being angry at the hostesses for not being more equality-oriented with the distribution of customers.
Allow me to put something out on the table right here and now.
-I sincerely do not need the money. I have been given a full education at a college of my choice and will never have to pay a dime in debt.
-I have all the time in the world to make money, if it really mattered to me I know I could get another job, maybe even a second job!
-Being a missionary starts now, which means that I know I should be more conscientious of putting other people above myself, being joyful when others make 25% tips and not feel like I'm getting the crap end of the night and continuously doing things to bring smiles to my customers regardless of the stereotypes I can place on them. In fact, labeling people should not exist for me and I should act in a selfless manner while interacting with others!

There's something else, selfishness, the feeling that I am not getting what I deserve and should be compensated increasingly more for my time. I am sure that every job has its faults and every group of workers will always have something else to dream for, be it purpose or most likely greater income. The hard part is being mature enough to say "ok, this is good enough for me" and not giving in to the idea of wanting more. The hallmark of a good person is how selfless they are. How earnestly can I approach being a good person?

For me personal injury is when I am not given something that I feel entitled to. This can be anything from gas money on a long trip with a friend, to free time being denied by the lazyness of a roommate who fails to wash their dishes, to even a good night kiss from my girlfriend. Of course there are varying ranges of injury that go along with these trespasses but what I have trouble figuring out is whether or not they're really injuries or just me being selfish. It makes me think a lot about that whole dying to one's self each day thing that Paul talks about.

B.K. %10%action#%90%reaction

night-time summer rain

yields a smile warmly gleaned

as the lot clears out

B.K. Spanitics

Last night after punching out I got in a conversation about religion with one of the guys who works in the kitchen.

• Just a shout-out really quick, people who work in the kitchens of restaraunts are outstandingly hard workers-I'm sure that doesn't apply to every single person who has ever had a cooking job, but the staff at Flo's busts their butts each and every night and I appreciate that.
  Anyhow he was taking out the trash when I was getting out of the building and he started up a conversation. We have a habit of poking fun at eachother and other people in spanish, cussing and trying to figure out new ways to get the dishes done faster. He told me that as Christians we should be setting an example for other people and that we shouldn't use "malas palabras," and then he started to hold me accountable as an older person (I think he's 19) saying that I have an even greater duty to be an upstanding Christian of morals and decency and should consider my actions in front of even him. I responded by shoddily quoting Timothy 4:12, pertaining to his role as a young person to continue setting an example even though he doesn't have the, what, credibility(?) that older people have. We went back and forth about the responsibility of being a Christian and the relevance of being an example through ones actions in terms of stereotypical conservative behavior (Abstaining from alcohol) versus stereotypical liberal behavior (Radical love for others and dispreservation of one's self).
  I told him that I believe it is our responsibility as Christians to reconcile everyone to God, not for the sake of winning souls to Christ but to establish a relationship to the Father through our own love. I asked him how we should do that and he responded by saying that we must first establish a friendship with that person so that they will take a vested interest in what we have to say; we must construct a sincere friendship that will create conversation. We then started to talk about the hypothetical male friend (because this model gets a little complicated if we incorporate a female) who wanted to go out for a drink and whether or not we would continue building that friendship in a liberal sense by earnestly going with him or removing ourselves in the conservative fashion by being a model of Christian excellence. He told me that he would go with the friend for the sake of establishing that friendship, that commonality for something greater down the road. He quoted Paul who said that he became weak for the weak and strong for the strong and told me that he could do no better.
  
  This was big for me considering the fact that the majority of my kitchen staff does not seem to enjoy alcohol a great deal. When offered drinks by Debbie after one particularly strenuous night the majority of them opted for virgin pinapple slushies. My friend at one point earlier on in the job became frustrated with me because I bought a case of beer for some of the head chefs for all their hard work, he said that I was leading them to vice and corruption. You know when I think about it, a gift of beer may not have been the best idea when I didn't even know the people that well. My friend said to me that it would have been better to become something of friends with him first and then consider having a drink with them rather than just shoving alcohol in their faces.
  
  All of this, ladies and gentlemen, happened in very broken spanish...but none the less did happen across the language boundry with passion, concern, and even a high-five at the end.

B.K. The 17-top

For those of you that read the previous post, today began with me dropping a glass filled with coke in the kitchen. The first hour thereby proceeded angst-fully with me thinking that I was going to drop a bowl of gumbo or who knows what on an unfortunate customer. However I was lucky and didn't mess up a food delivery at all.

Yay competence.

Today was a really fun day. At the very end of it all I had the privledge to cater to both familial sides of a newly married couple. It was stressful because of all of the drinks and food and potential mistakes there-in with customized entreés, but fun considering the fact that at the end of it all I could smile knowing that I had done something that I had never before known to be a difficult task. God bless the rest of the restaraunt world - servers, hosts, cooks, and bussers alike.

I also had my first repeat customers today. They came in a few days ago looking to pass the time with some drinks and appetizers; an older married couple and their married son with his wife. The older man was a happy guy who knew how to tease with a smile. His name was Don. Their table made me feel good in that sort of you-make-me-feel-worth-your-while sort of way and if I had the chance I would be a maid in their home.

B.K. Tossed Salad

Tossed Salad

The other day I walked into a place called Speedie Pizza when the manager, Tony, asked me if I wanted a job delivering pizza. He said I would make a lot more money than I would working at Flo's and would love to give me a full-time position as the lead driver. In turn, with 24 hours notice of my decision I explained to him that I simply did not need the hours he was offering me. That night I made nothing in terms of tips, but here-in lies the saving grace of working for Debbie, Kelly, and Jen at Flo's Place.

Tonight I dropped a scallop salad with no onions and no tomatos on the legs of a young woman and her friends father - bleu cheese/cajun vinagrette dressing and all. If any of you have ever committed a royal faux-pau against a customer you'll know exactly how I felt the rest of the evening. Sure enough Kelly came up to me and explained that if I ever failed to use a tray stand when delivering food again I would be in hot water.

Later on this evening Kelly and I were playing around again, she explained to me that if it wasn't her telling me how I screwed things up it would be someone else. We smiled and life went on. Although I screwed up on the job I was still accepted by my boss, Debbie - the original owner, Flo's, daughter - even told me that she liked my attitude on the job; that's the sort of moral support that I've been looking for in a job. The only other place I've ever felt that was from a lady named Judy Klinedenst at Bath and Body works. They're the sort of socio-emotional managers that the world needs more of.

I'm kind of happy to have a good boss.
Knock on wood :)

B.K. Rejection Stinks

But is it worse from a stranger or someone that you know?

Lets go running.

B.K. The Freemans

Tonight a couple came in that told me they had just been waiting for 2 and a half hours at Drunken Jacks (a very nice restaraunt down the street) for their food when they decided to mosey on up to Flo's place. It was my sincere pleasure to wait on them for the following hour and a half there-after. They told me the story of how they were high school sweethearts and dated for 11 years before they got married. They were on their way to a veterinarian convention of sorts, the Mr (I think his name was Robert), being a vet, is required to fulfill a certain number of hours for continued education of advances in the field. They asked me about my story, about how I ended up in South Carolina and what I was planning to do with South Korea, psychology, health, and Africa and commended me for my courage. The Mr. outright told me that he admired what I was doing; it felt good to be affirmed with my life.

The end-all in this is a smile and feeling that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's that sensation of wanting to get out of your car and dance to the radio when you finish parking in the driveway. The big thing now is not being blinded by money, because when people tell you that there's a lot more to be made just a few blocks down the road it can get frustrating to stay where you are. More corporate environments also have their lack of advantages :)

May you and I always have just enough of the green stuff.

B.K. The Restaraunt Biz: Dateline Flo's Place, $47 check, $0.00 tip

There's a lot I can start off with right here, right now; a lot of surprising emotions and relative trespasses that won't matter to me in 3 months. But I can start off with honestly saying that if you love people that don't deserve it you are doing something un-human. I don't mean that in a pious sense, but by earnestly taking the things that selfish people do (or fail to do) and not letting them carry sway over your life you are doing both them and yourself a courtesy.

Remember that you can always tell a person's character by how they treat people that they don't need to treat well. Thanks Mission Impossible 3

Pray for the good fortune of your customers, especially the ones that don't deserve it. You'll probably never see them again anyway, so what good does it do to put more hate into the world?

Bad tips can always lead to an appreciation for better days. And ending the day on the smile is always better than going to bed with a heavy mind.

B.K. 3 Months Later

It's been a pretty good feeling being back in the United States, to be perfectly honest I was outright excited to be coming back near the end of my trip and I feel like that contributed quite a bit to my lack of reacculturation. Since I've been home I have had a lot of opportunities to become engaged with the communities I live in, and I've been very grateful for that. I made a new friend when I first came back to campus, her name was Charissa and one night she talked to me about her potential move to Philadelphia next semester.

Like many people at Messiah College she was getting tired of the 'Messiah bubble,' surrounded by a mostly conservative viewpoint of life that is more often resilient to change than not. As I remember the story now, she had gone to church one day where the pastor told the congregation that they will never be happy anywhere else unless they are happy in the here and now. Charissa heard this and told me later on that week about how it had been affecting her, about how she felt that it would also be true for her in the midst of going to Philadelphia in order to escape Messiah. How can I say that 'life will be better when this happens, or if I get there or if I get that.' Life is a struggle at some point for absolutely everyone, and when it is our time to persevere it may feel that the world is falling in on us but then that's the joy of living. In terms of being happy through it all, Charissa made me think about the price of being content, and how many people sacrifice more than I will ever be able to imagine in order to simply and humbly say "I'm happy."

The first person to come to mind with that state of mind was a poor man with crutches named Marco. I saw him everyday when I would walk to school in Ecuador and didn't talk to him nearly as much as I should of. I do know that he was happy though. One of the most grateful people I've ever met, especially considering his circumstances.

For all of those students who will be going on a study abroad or looking for advice to give to someone leaving the country, the greatest encouragement I could offer is smiling. Teach yourself to be happy where you are at all times because no matter how hard things may be. Like time, it too shall pass. Through this you may express a gratitude for life in itself to God. Go and make stories for yourself, and then be generous both with them and in them.

Smile, I love you
sincerely.

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